Dear Cameron,

I played in the snow today and thought of you. I've been thinking about you a lot this week. Maybe it's because your birthday is approaching, maybe it's because a family in our ward lost a son this week, or maybe it's because I've been seeing your pictures everywhere lately. But you've been on my mind, today especially. Today, Heath had his first snow day from school. He loved it, we don't get many days of good run and play and role in it snow here. So we bundled up and went outside. And while building a snow fort for a snowball fight I remembered about the giant one you and Jeremiah built out in the tennis court. I loved that you never got too old to play in the snow. I remember how you used to ride your bike in the snow all winter long. I still remember running errands for the office in the middle of a snow storm and I saw you riding your crappy little bmx bike the best you could through all the slush and ice. You couldn't have liked it could you? Were you just that determined to do things on your own? Although you did happily accept a ride home, throwing your bike in the back of the truck. You were always so tough. Do you remember when you walked all the way home from Edwards theater in the snow? We drove all over trying to find you, once we realized you had started walking. I don't know how we couldn't find you, but I remember when you got home you weren't mad, or felt abandoned-you just laughed. You looked completely frozen over and you just stood there laughing and proudly relayed the whole experience of your trek. I thought about all the mornings mom and dad would wake us up at 5am to shovel snow before school. I don't know why I remember it this way, but you always seemed to have some fun doing it. You were always a bit of an early bird, and the awe of a good snow fall always seemed to energize you.
I've had the song Becca and Mandy performed at your funeral stuck in my head most of the day and I've been reflecting. I just wanted to write it down and tell you that you're always loved and always missed. I would have loved to have had you over today, playing out in the snow with me and my boys, so I'm going to pretend that you were. They would love you! I look forward to the day you are more than just a name to them. You still bring a smile to my face and make me laugh. Just wanted to say I missed you a lot today.